Sports Righting

2013 NFL Mock Draft: Dylan White, 1.0

Dylan S. White — Saturday, March 2, 2013 — 7 Comments

February 26, 2013

Ok, so here it is. My long awaited 2013 Mock Draft. I know everyone has been itching to see what my extremely educated predications would be. Right? Well, the 2013 combine is over and players have (justifiably or not, that is an argument for another day) made or lost millions of dollars based on how fast they run and how high they jump inside of a controlled setting. You may think I say that mockingly, but I am a combine junkie. I watch it every year, and am drawn into all of the little things that people think are stupid. That being said, I do see the problems with putting too much stock into those numbers. To be a first round talent, first and foremost you have to be a football player. That is why some players didn’t fall through the ranks of my list, sometimes a football player is a football player and doesn’t deserve to be stripped of his first round grade because he can’t run in a straight line as fast as a guy with half his production. So, read and enjoy. I will update this a few times before April, so keep your eyes open.

1. Kansas City Chiefs – OT – Luke Joeckel – Texas A&M

The Chiefs pretty much need a game changer at every position. Looking at their roster will make anyone uncomfortable. Their team needs a lot of help, and it needs it soon. One of the positions that they desperately need a game changer at is QB. Then why didn’t I pick a QB you ask? The best QB on the board, by leaps and bounds, is Geno Smith. And Geno Smith is not valuable enough to take at number 1. I think the chiefs could make a trade down, and may get Geno in the first round, but at pick number 1? I hope not. That would be overvaluing a player at its finest. So Kansas City, clear the ruble and begin where the game starts – the OL. Luke Joeckl deserves the top spot at OT and if KC stays at pick 1, he should get the call.

2. Jacksonville Jaguars – DE – Bjoren Werner – Florida State

Another team that, in my opinion needs a QB, but again, not this high. The Jaguars need help on the defensive side of the ball. They were last in the league in sacks last year, so an elite pass rusher is essential. John Babbich, the Jaguars new DC, is a 30 year coaching veteran who will want to implement a hard nosed defense. That won’t be possible if the Jags cant get the QB. Werner will be an immediate help in their pass rush. The kid is no slouch against the run either, and is the best DE in the draft. He didn’t show out at the combine, but I don’t think he did bad enough to drop out of the top 5 – unlike Domontre Moore. Last week, I might have gone with Moore in this spot, but his combine showing was less impressive than I hoped for, and his 40 time may hurt his stock. So, bring on the German.

3. Oakland Raiders – DT – Star Lotulelei – Utah

The Oakland Raiders need a few upgrades on the defensive side of the ball. I think DT is more essential than a DB for this team, so I’m passing over Dee Milner. I initially had Florida’s Sherriff Floyd rated slightly higher than Lotulelei, but Lotulelei just looks more like a Raider. 6’2”, 311 lbs, and a beautiful beard. Floyd weighed in at the combine a little on the light side, “only” 297. While Floyd might be more athletic, Lotulelei is more Raider.

4. Phillidelphia Eagles – OT – Lane Johnson – Oklahoma

I admit, this has been the toughest call for me so far. The Eagles have a brand new coaching staff, headed by offensive genius Chip Kelley. However, it will likely be their defense that changes the most drastically. No more wide-nine bologna. I wouldn’t be surprised if Dee Milliner came off the board here to sure up that secondary. But, it is no secret that the Eagles struggled on the OL last year, unusually high number of injuries or not. Lane Johnson made some money over the weekend, he was top among OL in almost every category. The TE turned OL showed off his athleticism, and Chip Kelley was probably drooling at that size and speed. LT Jason Peters is expected to return to starting duties, but I think last season combined with Johnson’s excellent workout over the weekend makes him too good to pass up. He is strong enough to play RT until his time comes on the other side.

5. Detroit Lions – CB – Dee Milliner – Alabama

The Lions need a DB. Badly. Dee Milliner is the best on the board, and a sure fire top 5 pick. He is a complete CB that will be able to completely erase a WR after a little bit of seasoning in the NFL. He struggled a bit in combine drills with his ball skills, but that isn’t something I saw during his time at Alabama. If he is available here, I don’t think the Lions will blink before entering their pick.

6. Cleveland Browns – DE – Barkevious Mingo – LSU

Ok, here it is. The first player that I am probably overvaluing based on combine results and pure athleticism (I don’t count Lane Johnson. He played against a higher level of competition than Eric Fisher, and his measurables show his skill). Don’t get me wrong, Mingo has been productive for LSU, but it is his measurable that are going to make NFL coaches giddy. He has a slight frame, but running a 4.58 40 yard dash makes up for it. He will be able to outrun some DBs on whatever team that drafts him, and will be an immediate help in the pass rush. He will be a perfect fit in a 3-4 defense, just like the one that new DC Ray Horton plans to run at Cleveland.

7. Arizona Cardinals – QB – Geno Smith – West Virginia

And here it is people, the team who is desperate enough to take a QB in the top 10, even without a QB having actual top 10 value. Arizona needs someone behind center, and Geno Smith is the best available. Arizona may look to make a trade before April and get this role filled, but until that happens I think they will take Smith.

8. Buffalo Bills – ILB – Alec Ogletree – Georgia

I think Ogletree is the second best linebacker on Georgia’s squad, so it surprises even me that I have him being drafted before Jarvis Jones. However, the Bills need help inside, not out. And Ogletree is the best ILB in the draft. I will hear no arguments for Manti T’eo.

9. New York Jets – OLB – Ezekiel Ansah – BYU

My how the Jets have fallen. It was a slow crash that everyone not a Jets fans, on the inside at least, liked watching. It is like a train wreck that one just can’t look away from. Their drafting hasn’t been great, and no matter what they do, they can’t seem to find that ever-elusive pass rusher. Ezekiel Ansah will give them that. He is a bit raw, but we know Rex Ryan loves to take risks on projects.

10. Tennessee Titans – DE – Damontre Moore – Texas A&M

The Titans could use an OL or two, but they need a DE. I could see them reaching for Chance Warmack here, but that seems like a reach to me for a player who can only play OG in the NFL. He will be a good one, but I don’t think he warrants a top 10 pick. Moore offers Tennessee a solid pass rush off the end. His poor combine numbers excluded, this kid can play football, and deserves to be a top 10 pick.

11. San Diego Chargers – OT – Eric Fisher – Central Michigan

When I started writing this, I didn’t expect Fisher to drop out of the top 10. He is a very good OT, and will have a long and prosperous career in the NFL. Lane Johnson’s showing at the combine is the only reason I have him outside the top 10, if he sneaks in before, I wouldn’t be surprised. He fits the chargers need for a true LT.

12. Miami Dolphins – WR – Cordarrelle Patterson – Tennessee

I asked my Miami native roommate who he wanted to see the Dolphins draft. He said a new GM. However, since Jeff Ireland is still employed, lets try to enter his mind on draft day. The Dolphins have not had a true number 1 receiver in a number of years. Cordarrell Patterson is the only receiver in this class worthy of a top 15 pick. I think he could be an immediate impact player for the Dolphins and give Ryan Tannehill the help he needs.

13. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – S – Kenny Vaccaro – Texas

Ronde Barber hasn’t said he is going to retire, but he hasn’t renounced those rumors either. He may be getting older, but he is still playing at a high level. However, when he does decide to step away, the Bucs will need a safety to complement Mark Barron. Taking a safety with your first pick two years in a row might sound a little crazy, but they need help in the defensive backfield.

14. Carolina Panthers – DT – Sherriff Floyd – Florida

How did this guy get this far down my board? He might be the best DT in the draft, and is an athletic freak (I know I have another DT ahead of him, I already explained why). He is a little light for an every-down 3 tech, but the panthers can just feed him a little extra before games. The guy is an athlete, and will be a good fit in the Panther’s scheme.

15. New Orleans Saints – OLB – Jarvis Jones – Georgia

Jones dropped this low just because of Ezekiel Ansah’s combine performance and Rex Ryan’s propensity towards taking calculated risks. However, the saints are moving to a 3-4 and need an OLB that can get to the QB. Jarvis Jones is that type of player.

16. St. Louis Rams – OG – Chance Warmack – Alabama

The Rams need help on the interior of their line. Chance Warmack is the best OG in the draft. He wouldn’t have fallen this far if he was able to play another position on the line. However, he is a pure road grader on the interior and will likely start immediately for the Rams.

17. Pittsburgh Steelers – OLB/DE – Dion Jordan – Oregon

Jordan is a guy who helped his stock tremendously with a good showing in combine drills. The Steelers need a pass rusher, and if Jordan is still available they will snatch him up.

18. Dallas Cowboys – OG – Jonathan Cooper – North Carolina

This is a guy who plays with a nasty streak. His knock, before coming to the combine was his weight. However, he added 30 lbs to his frame and his drills didn’t suffer from it. If he can keep the weight on during the season, he will be a force to be reckoned with in the middle of the field.

19. New York Giants – TE – Zach Ertz – Stanford

The New York giants are good at most positions, not great, but at least solid. They could use an upgrade in more than one area, but TE is a position that they need a consistent threat. With the growing role of the TE in the NFL, Zach Ertz has become fairly valuable. He solidified his role as the top TE at the combine, and will be a big pickup for the Giants here.

20. Chicago Bears – OT – DJ Fluker – Alabama

The bears need help blocking. Period. People give Jay Cutler a hard time for being whiney, which he is, but a lot of it stems from spending a lot of time on his back. Fluker is a solid RT who is mean enough to play OG. He will be an upgrade for the Bears.

21. Cincinnati Bengals – ILB – Manti T’eo – Notre Dame

I have long thought T’eo overrated. A fake girlfriend scandal and a poor showing at the combine and he has dropped significantly in coaches’ eyes as well. However, someone is going to give him a shot in the first round. Rey Maualuga is a free agent, and isn’t expected to be with the Bengals next season. So, they may very well be the team to take that shot. I want it noted I don’t think he deserves to be drafted this high, and maybe in 2.0 I will figure out how to drop him from the first round completely.

22. St. Louis Rams (From Washington Redskins) – WR – Justin Hunter – Tennessee

Hunter had an impressive showing at the combine. Too bad he was outshined by fellow teammate Cordarrell Patterson. Even though, he did an outstanding job and jumped up to the number 2 WR. The rams could use a WR with his size and skill set, and will be a solid second selection for their first round.

23. Minnesota Vikings – WR – Kennan Allen – California

Kennan Allen has been a freak on the collegiate level. He has been nursing a knee injury, so he didn’t participate at the combine. However, barring anything unforeseen at his Sr. Day and being cleared by doctors, this is a good place for him to come off the board. If he had participated at the combine he may have been higher on my board, at least switched with Justin Hunter.

24. Indianapolis Colts – CB – Xavier Rhodes – Florida State

The colts need some help on the defensive side of the ball. They also need some help on the OL, but at this spot in the draft, a CB is more valuable. This is a player who caught my eye at the combine. He has a history of knee injuries, but has the talent to be a starting CB. Due to Jonthan Bank’s average showing at the NFL combine, I have Rhodes jumping him to be the second CB off the board.

25. Seattle Seahawks – DE – Datone Jones – UCLA

As good as Seattle’s defense was, they didn’t have a perpetual penetrating DL. I realize they scheme to their LBs, but I cant see them passing up a DE that can get to the QB, especially since Chris Clemmons tore his ACL last season. Jones is the best available at this position. He ran the 40 faster than Manti T’eo, and he has some weight behind him to tie up blockers in the run game. The more I think about it, the more I think he is the perfect fit for Pete Carroll’s defense.

26. Green Bay Packers – DT – Johnathan Hankins – Ohio State

The Packers need a RB. However, I think for this draft class, they will be better in the 2^nd or 3^rd rounds going for a Stephan Taylor or Onterio McCaleb, depending on the style RB they think they need to complement the passing game (I’m a fan of pounding the rock, so would lean to Taylor). So, how about someone to stop the run then? I picked Hankins here, mainly because I want to see him play next to BJ Raji. He didn’t wow at the combine, and he may slip to the second round, but the guy has size you can’t teach and will plug holes allowing Green Bay’s LBs to do their job.

27. Huston Texans – WR – Tavon Austin – West Virginia

Another Guy who jumped up because of his combine performance. A 4.34 40 will do that for you. His speed and elusiveness will be a good compliment to the Texan’s WR corps.

28. Denver Broncos – DT – Kwann Short – Purdue

The Bronco’s need a DT. Short didn’t participate at the combine, but has been consistently graded as a first round talent. I admit that I haven’t seen the guy play, and youtube isn’t much help. But, I trust the grades others have given him and DT is a need here. So, good for him.

29. New England Patriots – CB – Jonthan Banks – Mississippi State University

Jonathan Banks was the winner of this year’s Thorpe Award, even so he was the second best CB in the SEC and the third best available for this draft. His 40 time wasn’t amazing at the combine, but he makes up for lack of speed with smart play and a long body.

30. Atlanta Falcons – TE – Tyler Eifert – Notre Dame

Lets all be honest, Tony Gonzalez can’t be great for much longer. He is considering retiring, and even if he doesn’t he won’t be around for long. The Falcons need a TE to fill in that role. Eifert is a solid TE prospect who will try to fill the shoes of the future hall of famer, and will only be better if he gets a season or two under the tutelage of Gonzalez.

31. San Francisco 49ers – NT – Johnathan Jenkins – Georgia

Jenkins is getting some competition from Brandon Williams from Missouri Southern State, but in the end I think that Jenkins will win out. He has the tendency to take plays off, but I think that Harbaugh and Co. will get that out of him. He only participated in the bench press, so he better do well at Georgia’s Sr. Day, because Williams will gladly take this spot.

32. Baltimore Ravens – S – Eric Reid – LSU

The Ravens will look to replace Ray Lewis, but I don’t know who would be worth the pick here. Certainly, there will be no one to replace Ray Lewis. The Ravens may also lose Ed Reed next year, and if not next season, soon. So a Safety here seems like the next likely scenario. Eric Reed is the best safety left. He did well at the combine, and would be able to immediately contribute.

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By: Dylan S. White

In NFL, NFL Draft, NFL Mock Draft 2013 NFL Draft, 2013 NFL Mock Draft, NFL Draft

The Time When Mark Cuban Skipped Breakfast to Eat Skip Bayless for Lunch

Caleb Brasher — Friday, March 1, 2013 — 4 Comments

As we turn the corner heading into the last half of the NBA season, I am reminded of how idiotic some journalists can be. Not anyone on this site, we are all awesome. It’s mainly the big name guys that frustrate me…especially good ole Skip. There are many reasons to hate Mark Cuban, but this is not one of them.

In NBA, Videos ESPN, Mark Cuban, NBA, Skip Bayless

2013 NFL Mock Draft: Stereotypical Version

Tyler Raborn — Tuesday, February 26, 2013 — 5 Comments

No.	Team	Pick
1	Chiefs	Jack Stack Barbecue, Restaurant, Kansas City: The Chiefs intended to draft a future bust defensive lineman, but Reid’s excited utterance brings the Eagles the rights to unlimited pulled pork. Kiper assigns a grade of “F” to the pick, while Reid eats 3 pigs worth of ribs, pulls the last clean bone from his mouth, stands up, extends his arm, drops the bone like a mic, throws his arms up in “victory” fashion, and leaves the building, which solidifies the one and only reason Andy Reid went to Kansas City—what we have all assumed from day one—the BBQ.
2	Jets (from Jaguars)	Manti Te’o, ILB, Notre Dame: The Jets send Tim Tebow to the Jaguars, and in an interview during the Jets’ pick, Rex Ryan tells ESPN, “Manti is just a football player that we think can contribute in some different packages… we’re not in it for the media attention.” (After the camera turns off, Ryan rolls up his sleeve, kisses his tattoo of his wife in a Sanchez jersey, and whispers to it, “Tomorrow’s headline is ours again—no such thing as bad press—take that Coughlin…”)
3	Raiders	Onterio McCalebb, RB, Auburn: DUDE RAN A 4.21!!! FASTEST GUY AT THE COMBINE!!! IN FACT, FASTEST GUY AT THE COMBINE EVER!!! …oh, that’s unofficial? Too late…
4	Raiders (from Eagles)	Marquise Goodwin, WR, Texas: Attempt #2… DUDE RAN A 4.27!!! THE FASTEST GUY AT THE COMBINE!!! (A synchronized sigh of relief from the Oakland staff could be heard at Radio City Music Hall—the Raiders got their guy.)
5	Lions	Alec Ogletree, ILB, Georgia: In an effort to bring players with similar interests and backgrounds to the team, Jim Schwartz has drafted Alec Ogletree. Speaking to NFL Network shortly after the pick, Schwartz said, “We really felt Ogletree’s recent arrest would play to his advantage and expedite his assimilation into the ‘Lion way’ that we all know and love.”
6	Browns	Nick Saban, Coach, Alabama: Jimmy Haslam doesn’t take no for an answer. In an interview, Jimmy Haslam told ESPN, “We’re going to get the best here, and we’re not accepting any less.” Newly hired head coach Rob Chudzinski declined to comment.
7	Cardinals	Matt Barkley, QB, USC: Last time the Cardinals drafted a USC quarterback that was a guaranteed 1st rounder, but opted to stay an extra year in college, it went REALLY well. Or that’s what the Cardinals’ front office believes. It’s really hot in Phoenix. The dry heat will get to you. It’ll make you see things… or make you forget things. Mike Mayock is currently chalking the memory loss up to the heat, so we’ll go with that. Sorry, Larry.
8	Bills	Los Angeles, California: Less than 5 months after accepting the Bills head coaching job, Doug Marrone has been quoted as saying, “Buffalo sucks” 57 times… in one interview. Needless to say, Marrone, the New York native, has decided he wants to move the team. Shortly after the Bills’ surprise selection, a Los Angeles spokesman was quoted as saying, “Buffalo sucks… no not the city Buffalo. I’ve never even been to Buffalo… who in the hell would want to go to Buffalo? I meant Buffalo sucks, as in the Buffalo Bills suck. We don’t want them.” …already sounds like a picturesque Hollywood relationship.
9	Jets	Tyler Bray, QB, Tennessee: Rex Ryan, according to Rob Ryan, is over the whole “media attention” thing. At least, now that he’s got Manti the walking reality show, he is. Sources have told Yahoo, who have told Twitter, who have told ESPN that Ryan is now concentrating on this “scoring points” concept. The last time he watched Tennessee play, the “tall kid in bright orange” playing quarterback was “really good,” so Ryan is happy about this selection.
10	Titans	E.J. Manuel, QB, FSU: Athletic quarterback? Big arm? How can the Titans pass up dooming Nashville to another five years of mediocre football?!? They can’t. When asked about the quarterback competition in Titans’ camp, Mike Munchak remarked, “We’ll have an open competition between Jake Locker, E.J. Manuel—and all of the other guys we’re bringing in for camp, such as Vince Young, Marcus Vick, Sunshine from Remember the Titans, Paul Crewe from the Longest Yard, and Shane Falco from The Replacements.” In related news, local sports writer Clay Travis has posted a “Munchak countdown” clock on his website.
11	Raiders (from Chargers)	Denard Robinson, QB/WR, Michigan: The bewildered Oakland war room spends 20 minutes trying to figure out who traded away all of the Raiders’ 2014 draft picks, until the the ghost of Al Davis appears in the room holding a phone and repetitively screaming, “A QUARTERBACK THAT RUNS A 4.43?!? YES PLEASE!!!”
12	Dolphins	Dan Marino’s Illegitimate Child: This selection by the Dolphins surprises some, but most in the “inner loop” say that there was never another player considered. As the “dark horse” of this draft, Marino’s kid benefits from great DNA as well as unprecedented financial support in his training, as Dan will pay handsomely to hide his guilt and save his image. Live in the Dolphin’s war room, management is calling this prospect, “a kid who flew under the radar” and “a really well kept secret.”
13	Buccaneers	Jon Gruden (Frank Caliendo), Coach, ESPN: In an effort to relive their glory days, the Buccaneers’ ownership decides to draft Jon Gruden to return to coach Tampa Bay back to their glory. With the only Tampa Bay Super Bowl victory coming under Gruden, this pick makes sense. Upon hearing the news, Gruden told ESPN, “MAN! I’M SO EXCITED! I LOVE EVERY PLAYER ON THAT TEAM! EVERY SINGLE ONE! THOSE KIDS CAN PLAY! MAN OH MAN! I CAN’T WAIT TO GET IN TRAINING CAMP AND GO OVER THE BASICS, LIKE ‘Y-BANANA, Z-DOUBLE SPLIT, 34-HORSESHOE, REVERSE, STAR LIGHT STAR BRIGHT, JAWS, DOUBLE WHAM, BAM BAM, SHAZAM’!!!”
14	Panthers	Play 60 Kid: When asked about this selection, Ron Rivera remarked, “We believe competition brings out the best in players, and we think this pick will really raise the level of competition at the quarterback position in training camp.” Steve Smith can be seen in the background of the interview shamefully shaking his head. Analysts believe the Panthers are actually attempting to lower the level of competition for Cam, in an attempt to raise Newton’s confidence in himself. On a related note, @ AuburnBCSChamp175K tells us that a group of men out of Auburn, Alabama have been hired to consult the Panthers on how to affectively motivate Cam Newton.
15	Saints	Ed Reed, S, NFL Network: Reed brings two things to the table: 1. He hates Roger Goodell as much as everyone else in New Orleans, and 2. He can cover better than anyone else currently on the Saints’ roster. Immediately after the pick, the NFL begins an investigation of the New Orleans Saints for a “bounty program” the Saints are allegedly running at practice under Rob Ryan. [Update: Roger Goodell announces the suspensions, based on “clear and convincing evidence” from “Sources” cited by Chris Broussard on Twitter, of Ed Reed, Jonathan Vilma, and “a player to be determined later at Goodell’s convenience” from the podium between the 26th and 27th picks.]
16	Eagles (from Rams)	Allen Iverson, QB/PG, Talkin’ bout Practice: In what has been called both an “act of desperation” (by everybody except Chip Kelly) and “a genius move” (by Chip Kelly), Philadelphia has drafted the former Virginia high school football player of the year—Allen Iverson. With rumors swirling around Philly that the former 76er wanted to make a return to professional sports, the Eagles jumped at the chance to grab another quarterback that hasn’t played in years and is past his prime. In a statement just released by Iverson’s agent, Iverson says, “I’ll be there on Sundays—can’t guarantee nothin else. Hell, I can’t guarantee Sundays. I guess me and Mike will draw straws to see who plays and who watches the dogs.”
17	Steelers	Usain Bolt, Sprinter, Jamaica: Mike Tomlin cited Kenny Mayne as his “source” on Bolt’s football talent. Halfway through Tomlin’s interview, the NFL Network referred to Bolt as the “fastest man in the world.” Seven minutes later, it was announced that Bolt had been traded to the Raiders for Darren McFadden and a conditional draft pick in 2015. [Update: The conditional pick was determined to be a 1st rounder based on Bolt’s 40-yard dash time.]
18	Cowboys	Brett Favre, QB/QB Coach/Offensive Coordinator/Head Coach/General Manager/Jobless, Hattiesburg: Jerry Jones’ selection of Brett Favre has surprised no one here in Radio City Music Hall. He’s the perfect candidate for the “Jerry Jones” gauntlet. The current over/under on Bovada.lv for number of games Favre lasts in the Cowboys organization is 12.5. And the over/under for how many different responsibilities Jerry Jones will strip from him throughout his tenure in Dallas just moved from 3.5 to 4.5.
19	Jets (from the Giants)	JaMarcus Russell, QB, KFC: Upon learning that the last time Rex Ryan watched a Tennessee game was in 1996, the Jets front office informed Ryan that Bray isn’t the same “tall kid in bright orange” that he saw. That was Peyton Manning. In a fit of anger, sources have told The Onion, Ryan exclaimed, “I can’t believe we almost drafted that goofy kid from the Giants!” In an attempt to draft a “proven” quarterback, Ryan has determined Russell is the best quarterback available. During the violent argument that ensued between Ryan and every other person in the Jets organization, Ryan stated the fact that, “Russell has thrown 18 touchdowns in the NFL, the rest of these kids have thrown 0!”
20	Bears	Mike Ditka (Frank Caliendo), Tight End/Coach, ESPN: Chicago has not won a Super Bowl since 1986, and ownership is becoming antsy. This pick represents ownership’s attempt to “get back to our roots.” Though Chicago fans seem somewhat concerned with Ditka shrinking from a once imposing 6’3″ to a compact 5’7″, the general feeling among fans seems to be one of elation. On an online poll, 97% of voters believe Mike Ditka is senile—the remaining 3% are Bears fans over the age of 60.
21	Seahawks (from Bengals)	Tyrann Mathieu, CB, …LSU???: According to @ SeahawksDude0420, Seattle has selected former LSU star Tyrann Mathieu solely due to the unique contract his agent proposed to the team. It only requested that Tyrann receive 1. a pound of weed a week, 2. living accommodations with no less than 6 bean bag chairs, 3. transportation to and from practices and games, and 4. one-way plane tickets to Seattle for “Jordan Jefferson,” “Jarrett Lee,” and “Les Miles.” After the Seahawks announced their selection, a random over-anxious journalist asked Mathieu, “While the state of Washington has legalized marijuana, other states have not, how do you plan to control your smoking habits in the states in which marijuana is illegal?” To which Mathieu replied, “Honey Badger gonna do Honey Badger.”
22	49ers (from Rams)	Kenny Powers, Motivational Speaker, North Carolina: There’s been an extraordinary amount of speculation around San Francisco’s decision to move up and select the highly-coveted Powers. The majority of analyst have come to the conclusion that Jim Harbaugh no longer wants to be the most psychotic member of the 49ers organization. His brother had Ray Lewis to overshadow him, but Jim was left in the insanity spotlight. Harbaugh has declined to comment on the selection, but Spike Television will be airing the seemingly anti-climatic “Kenny Powers: The Decision” tonight at 9 p.m.
23	Vikings	Time Expired: The First time a team lets the clock expire, they can still pick when they walk up to the podium, but since it’s the Vikings second time (See: 2003 NFL Draft) to let the clock expire, they forfeit their pick. No matter—the Vikings plan to play 1 on 11 anyways, since it worked last year.
24	Raiders (from Colts)	Terron Armstead, OT, Arkansas-Pine Bluff: DUDE RAN A 4.71!!! THE FASTEST OFFENSIVE LINEMAN EVER AT THE COMBINE!!! AND THAT’S OFFICIAL!!! …and for the 99.7% of analysts who “projected” Terron as a “Day 2” guy, the Raiders released a statement that read, “Screw you. If you only knew how many times our new offense calls for a 40-yard tackle pull, you’d understand.”
25	Jets (from Seahawks)	Ron Mexico, QB, Cancun: Once Rex Ryan realized JaMarcus Russell and Russell Wilson are not the same person, the Jets frantically dealt Darrell Revis to the Seahawks to unite him with his best friend, Richard Sherman. Regarding this selection, while this has only been confirmed by a tattoo artist who has chosen to remain anonymous, Ryan apparently met a phenomenal quarterback in Las Vegas several years ago by the name of “Ron Mexico.” The little-known Mexcio released an ambiguous statement stating that he “will be available on Sundays that AI is starting” and that “he sure as hell ain’t gonna be no personal punt protector.” One last note of significance regarding this pick: Mexico’s agent has apparently requested in the contract that Rex get a tattoo on his other arm with Ryan’s wife in a “Mexico” jersey.
26	Lions (from Packers)	Da’Rick Rogers, WR, Tennessee Tech: For those of us worried the Lions would go 4 whole years without taking a questionable wide receiver or tight end in the 1st round—worry no more. The Ford family has stated that Da’Rick Rogers is “how we like ’em.” As the NFL Network camera pans Da’Rick Rogers’ living room, posters of Rogers’ heroes can be seen: Charles Rogers, Mike Williams, and Titus Young. After receiving a considerable sum of money in the form of a bribe, Jim Schwartz’s psychiatrist has exclusively told us that Schwartz channels his “extremely violent” tendencies into ruining other people’s lives. And further, as a former linebacker that wasn’t good enough to make it, he resents the wide receivers who came over the middle and made him look like a fool. Thus, the Jim receives a higher level of satisfaction in cutting receivers, so this pick makes complete sense.
27	Raiders (from Texans)	Tavon Austin, WR, West Virginia: Naturally,the Raiders move up to draft the 2nd fastest WR in the draft—in case something happens to the fastest WR. In his 5th interview of the day, Dennis Allen nervously states, “Austin is one of those intelligent versatile players that you can’t miss out on… and yes… yes, he’s fast. Yes Al, he’s fast. I mean… yes AL…SO fast! Yes, I meant, also fast.” All the while, Ghost Al Davis can be seen on camera whispering in Allen’s ear.
28	Broncos	The Entire TCU Football Team: After the legalization of marijuana in Colorado, the entire TCU football team, including some coaches, informed the Broncos that “they’d all divide the salary of one draft pick” if the Broncos selected them in the first round. Peyton Manning disapproved of the selection… until Papa John pointed out the business opportunities. Manning also agreed to keep quiet about the “special brownies” in the training room after he was offered the lead part in a Betty Crocker commercial.
29	Patriots	Two 1st Round Picks in 2014 and One 1st Round Pick in 2015: We have no idea how Bill Belichick managed this one, but somehow, the Patriots have exchanged the 29th overall pick for two 1st round picks next year and one 1st round pick in 2015. Sources say that Belichick spoke with league officials last week to determine the validity of such an exchange. After Belichick’s 4 hour presentation, the Patriots were granted the right to stock up more draft picks by a vote of 1-0. Sources also say that once Belichick voted and left, league officials were furious when they woke up.
30	Falcons	Leon Sandcastle, DB, Commercial: Upon weeks of investigation, the intuitive Roddy White—who scored a 4 on the Wonderlic—determined that Leon Sandcastle is ACTUALLY Deion Sanders with a wig and fake mustache. Without the months necessary for Roddy to deduce that Sanders isn’t actually in the NFL draft, Roddy takes it upon himself to call in the pick, and the Falcons draft Deion Sanders, again.
31	49ers	Jerry Rice, WR, Hall of Fame: Due to Jim Harbaughs incredible ability to create absolutely NO* tension between teammates (See: Alex Smith and Colin Kaepernick), he decides it’d be a good idea to bring Jerry Rice back to start over Randy Moss. Yet during his draft day interview, he continuously makes definitive indefinite statements, “Yeah, Randy is our guy… but Jerry is playing well, and I like to go with the hot hand(s)… but Randy has definitely earned the right to be called the greatest ever… Jerry is the best receive of all time, hands down…”
32	Ravens	Ray Lewis III, ILB, Miami: After an “anonymous” caller threatened his life, John Harbaugh drafts an ineligible prospect—Ray Lewis’ son, Ray Lewis III. Immediately after the pick, a camera switches over to the Lewis household, which has over a hundred people gathered for a “draft party.” In an interview with confused ESPN analysts, Lewis says, through his tears, “I just had faith my little Ray would succeed me! I knew it!!!” As the camera pans away, Lewis can be seen on his cell phone and can be vaguely heard saying, “I knew you’d come around…smart choice John… smart choice.”

In NFL 2013 NFL Mock Draft Parody, Funny NFL Mock Draft

Jimmy Kimmel vs. Titus

Tyler Raborn — Saturday, February 23, 2013 — 34 Comments

A few weeks ago, we posted a video of a little kid, Titus, doing a phenomenal job draining buckets. Well, since we posted that video, a back-and-forth battle (all in good fun) ensued between Jimmy Kimmel and Titus (well, really Titus’ dad). Here’s what happened…

First, Titus’ dad posted this video of Titus doing his best Steve Kerr:

Then, Titus went on the Today Show, and Jimmy Kimmel made a comment about his appearance, so Titus’ dad made this video:

So, Jimmy Kimmel invited Titus to his show, and this is what ensued:

Part 1

Part 2

Needless to say, this kid is impressive.

In Videos Titus on Jimmy Kimmel, Unbelievable Trick Shot Kid on Jimmy Kimmel

2013 Tennis Season: Players to Watch This Year

Guest Writers — Saturday, February 23, 2013 — 3 Comments

The tennis season is now well under way, and here are a few tipped players who look set to have impressive seasons both on the ATP tour and the WTA tour.

1. Grigor Dimitrov (rank 34, age 21):

Many pundits highlighted Dimitrov last year as the player to watch in 2013, and he has already made a phenomenal start to the new year. He began the year at the Brisbane International where he reached his first singles final sadly losing to Andy Murray. Shockingly he was dumped out of the Australian Open in the first round after losing in straight sets to Frenchman Jullien Benneteau. Despite this set back in the major, Grigor has come back into form in the past week after putting up a great display during the ATP 500 event in Rotterdam, making it to the semi finals before losing to Del Potro who went on to win the tournament. Interestingly, Dimitrov is referred to as ‘baby fed’ due to his brilliant brain which he uses to produce some superb shots and he has a great array of different plays to chose from. Just look at this shot he made at the ATP 500 event in Basel last year! (‘Absolutely outrageous!’)

2. Bernard Tomic (rank 46, age 20):

This young Aussie just can’t stay out of the spot light! If he’s not out on a wild night out, he’s underestimating the power of his elite opponents, as we heard at the Australian Open earlier this year. Federer proved in Melbourne that the joey has a long way to go if he’s to emulate the heights of the national idol Lleyton Hewitt. Still, Tomic is a brilliant player to watch as he knows how to outwit his opponent with the killer shot and he has the charisma which provides great entertainment. Earlier this year he beat Novak Djokovic at the Hopman Cup + he won his first singles title in Sydney against Kevin Anderson at the beginning of the year. He aspires to reach the top ten by the end of the year which looks improbable however when he is at his best he has the ability to outplay many of the top ten players.

3. Jerzy Janowicz (rank 26, age 22):

Many think that being ‘lanky’ would leave you at a disadvantage in tennis as your supposed to be quick and nimble across the court like Nadal and Federer however, height has become a great weapon. Standing at 6ft 8, Janowicz is one of the tallest players on the tour along with Raonic, Karlovic and Del Potro and what they all have in common is power. Janowicz is a powerful pole who can hit a sizzling serve which assists his game nicely. Despite failing to win a singles title, Jerzy has the makings of a great tennis player with his powerful baseline shots and an effective first serve.

4. Kei Nishikori (rank 23, age 23) and Martin Klizan (rank 28, age 23):

Firstly, Nishikori has become the sole force of Asia in the men’s singles and he has started this year well with 6 wins and 2 defeats. Last year Kei reached the world number 15 and won 2 titles doing this, in Tokyo and Delray beach which are both hard courts, an area where he excels. This year he reached the semi finals in Brisbane and the last 16 of the Australian Open, both fairly decent results. Klizan is a powerful Slovakian who too shows great promise. He is at his highest ranking of his career at the moment and has been very active already this season playing in Brisbane, Auckland Melbourne, Zagreb and Rotterdam. Most recently in Rotterdam he reached the quarter finals but was forced to retire against Gilles Simon. Klizan has experienced several injuries in the past 5 years which has inhibited his game however if he is able to avoid serious damage then he could rise even further up the rankings.

5. Heather Watson (rank 41, age 20) and Laura Robson (rank 43, age 19):

These two are the youngest players in the top 50 of the WTA rankings and these ladies look certain to reset the image of British women’s tennis. Both of them had reasons to celebrate in 2012 with Watson winning her first title in the Japan Open, ending Britain’s 24 year wait for a singles title, whilst Robson reached the Guangzhou open final as well as winning a medal at the Olympics with Murray in the doubles. At the Australian open both of them reached the final 32 with Watson bravely losing out to Radwanska whilst Robson was beaten by Sloanne Stephens who we’ll get on to shortly. Watson has shown that she has the never say die attitude, for example in her round of 64 match in Melbourne saving several match points to turn the game around. Robson on the other hand has proved herself as a threatening player since the Olympics showing good defence and moments of brilliance with her double handed backhand. Hopefully these two will have as much attention as Murray does come the end of 2013.

6. Sloanne Stephens (rank 18, age 20):

Stephens has burst on to the scene this season as she looks to carry the American torch from Serena and Venus once they retire. At just only 20 years of age, Stephens made her first appearance in the semi final of the Australian Open after beating Serena Williams (she was injured) before losing out to world number one and eventual champion Victoria Azarenka. She has gained loads of ranking points after great performances in Hobart and Brisbane, carrying on her fantastic form which she displayed last year even despite the long break after the US Open. Watch out for her in the French Open and I’m sure she’ll be a feature in top 10 come the end of November.

7. Petra Kvitova (rank 8, age 22):

Kvitova failed to find any consistency last season but she is still very young for a tennis player and this year she could really threaten for a place in the top 5.The Czech has already won 9 singles titles including a Wimbledon title in 2011 which helped her leap up to number 2 spot in the rankings. Last year she started the season well carrying on from her form in 2011 getting to the semi-finals of both the Australian open and the French open. She only reached the quarter finals at Wimbledon and the Olympics and only the fourth round at Flushing meadows. She is currently on a slippy slope after losing in the second round of the Aus open to Robson. If she wants to get back into the top 5 she will have to bounce back and she has the capability to do so with a great variety of shots and that powerful left hand!

8. Mona Barthel (rank 27, age 22):

Barthel looks to be an exciting prospect for 2013 and her form this season has been brilliant so far, she’s personal favourite of mine! The young German is an aggressive player who can hit a variety of shots and she has the power and the movement to accompany her game. This year Barthel won her second career singles title in Paris against the first seed Sara Erani after beating Marion Bartoli in the quarters as well. Unfortunately she failed to get going in the Australian Open after dropping out in the first round however she did exceptionally well in the tournaments in Hobart and Auckland before hand which still featured many top players. Depending on how threatening she can become in the major’s will determine whether she goes on to become a top ten player.

————

By: Rich Waterhouse

Read more of Rich’s articles here.

In Tennis 2013 Tennis, ATP Tour Players, Tennis Players to Watch, WTA Tour Player

Moot Realignment

Tyler Raborn — Friday, February 22, 2013 — 5 Comments

When the phrase “conference realignment” is uttered, most college sports fans can’t help but roll their eyes.

…or throw up.

Yet conference realignment is prevalent in today’s college sports’ landscape.

But why?

As Pete Thamel pointed out in his Sports Illustrated article, conference realignment, such as Maryland joining the Big Ten, has been fueled by revenues from cable deals:

Maryland will join the Big Ten conference in 2014 after a vote by its Board of Regents on Monday to end a 59-year relationship with the ACC. The impetus of the move, primarily, is to help save an athletic department struggling financially and to set up a huge potential payday for the Big Ten through increased cable revenue.

Even the mighty SEC has fallen victim to this greedy desire, as Chris Smith pointed out in his article:

The conference has two deals to renegotiate: a $825 million first-tier rights contract with CBS, and a $2.25 billion second-tier deal with ESPN. Both are 15-year contracts that were signed in 2008 and run through the 2023-24 season. The SEC gets the chance to renegotiate both deals thanks to the recent additions of Missouri and Texas A&M.

The SEC’s first-tier rights deal pays an average $55 million annually, and that payout should move up to a minimum $64 million to equally compensate the two new members.

But has it all been worth it?

Maybe. We don’t know yet. But we can speculate.

Apple fever has been sweeping the United States for the last few years. People who once vowed they’d never give up their Blackberry, including myself, are now on their 2nd iPhone. PC users have become Mac diehards. And some families have given up their cable boxes for the selective programming offered by Apple TV.

That same selective programming, through applications such as Netflix and Hulu Plus, are available on Xbox and Playstation as well.

So where is this all headed?

We don’t know.

There’s a lot of money moving around in Washington from companies to lobbyists that we don’t know about.

But we’re speculating.

If a company could offer totally selective programming, wouldn’t everyone opt to do it?

Instead of paying $63.99 for 300 channels, 293 of which you don’t watch, wouldn’t you rather pay $35 for the channels you do watch? Or more so, $15 simply for the specific shows and events you watch?

Obviously cable companies are doing everything they can to block a transition to selective programming. Yet it seems to be consumer-friendly. Maybe next year, maybe in 50 years, it could happen.

There is a disproportionality in what people watch and how much money those programs make off of their specific event. Yet it seems the programming that is getting the “short end of the stick” could eventually break out of their cable deals and into the free market of “pay-per-program” television.

Imagine turning on your Xbox and being able to select any show, movie, or live sporting event you please for a cost.

This model would also inspire more talented independent people to create shows and movies, if they were given a user-friendly platform. Simply look at what Xbox’s platform has done for small game developers. Or what YouTube has done for creative film students.

The economics behind a shift to this model contain an outrageous amount of variables, which could be credited with the slow and hesitant move to what seems to be an obvious choice for consumers. Yet this article’s purpose isn’t to analyze the percentage chance of this move happening or how quickly it could come. Rather, this article seeks to pose a question to conferences that are realigning:

What if the cable deals that motivated all of the geographically irrational conference realignment fall apart?

You’re all thinking “slim chance.”

I know.

But—what if?

The conferences could begin marching to a different drummer. Cable deals could no longer be the motivating factor, but rather, maximizing viewership of individual events.

When Auburn rolls into Tuscaloosa to play Alabama in the Iron Bowl, and 12 million viewers tune in, Alabama and Auburn could exclusively profit off of that event. Playing rivals could become even more attractive for schools.

Further, big non-conference games could become much more attractive to schools. If Michigan could profit more from a television event that featured them playing Oklahoma, more so than Appalachian State (ha), then they could be more likely to schedule big games.

This could also lead realigned conferences to… realign. Again.

Schools could lose more money from being part of conferences not geographically-friendly. The burden of travel cost on schools could no longer be outweighed by the “profit-sharing” cable deals of certain conferences.

Thus, schools could be inclined to join more geographically-friendly conferences. We could end up with more logically aligned conferences where teams are financially encouraged to play more successful non-conference opponents.

Yes, I know that several schools would be left high and dry without profit-sharing. So maybe some conferences still implore profit-sharing. I don’t know, nor care to study, the exact dollars and cents behind it. But I will say that I am a proponent of free market ideology—so, there’s that.

Either way, the destruction of cable deals could lead to much more fan-friendly conference re-realignment. It could also lead to schools playing more prominent non-conference games.

But…

These possibilites are all “could be” scenarios, rather than “will be.” Too many key pieces, including politicians, cable executives, contract laws, and a plethora of other obstacles, stand in the way of this conference utopia.

So in conclusion… we have no conclusion. Merely a glimmer of hope that one day, this will all make sense.

————

By: Tyler Raborn

In NCAAB, NCAAF Conference Cable Deals, Conference Realignment

The Top 25 Sports Quotes on BrainyQuote

Tyler Raborn — Friday, February 22, 2013 — 3 Comments

Here are the top 25 sports quotes on BrainyQuote.com:

Number 25

I am building a fire, and everyday I train, I add more fuel. At just the right moment, I light the match.

~Mia Hamm

Number 24

Thus so wretched is man that he would weary even without any cause for weariness… and so frivolous is he that, though full of a thousand reasons for weariness, the least thing, such as playing billiards or hitting a ball, is sufficient enough to amuse him.

~Blaise Pascal

Number 23

My motto was always to keep swinging. Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging.

~Hank Aaron

Number 22

It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

~Mark Twain

Number 21

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

~Rodney Dangerfield

Number 20

I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

~Shaquille O’Neal

Number 19

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

~Mark Twain

Number 18

Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records.

~William Arthur Ward

Number 17

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.

~Henry David Thoreau

Number 16

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.

~Tiger Woods

Number 15

Show me a good loser, and I’ll show you a loser.

~Vince Lombardi

Number 14

As athletes, we’re used to reacting quickly. Here, it’s ‘come, stop, come, stop.’ There’s a lot of downtime. That’s the toughest part of the day.

~Michael Jordan

Number 13

Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard of all rules and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence. In other words, it is war minus the shooting.

~George Orwell

Number 12

Gold medals aren’t really made of gold. They’re made of sweat, determination, and a hard-to-find alloy called guts.

~Dan Gable

Number 11

Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game.

~Michael Jordan

Number 10

Half the lies they tell about me aren’t true.

~Yogi Berra

Number 9

People ask me what I do in winter when there’s no baseball. I’ll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring.

~Rogers Hornsby

Number 8

I want to rip out his heart and feed it to Lennox Lewis. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children.

~Mike Tyson

Number 7

It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.

~Muhammad Ali

Number 6

You can’t put a limit on anything. The more you dream, the farther you get.

~Michael Phelps

Number 5

If winning isn’t everything, why do they keep score?

~Vince Lombardi

Number 4

A good hockey player plays where the puck is. A great hockey player plays where the puck is going to be.

~Wayne Gretzky

Number 3

Don’t look back. Something might be gaining on you.

~Satchel Paige

Number 2

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

~Hunter S. Thompson

Number 1

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.

~Michael Jordan

In Recommendations Best Sports Quotes, Sports Quotes, Top 25 Sports Quotes

High School Star Ratings of the 2013 NBA All-Star Teams

Tyler Raborn — Thursday, February 21, 2013 — 2 Comments

As Chuck once said about the NBA All-Star game…

Hell, there ain’t but 15 black millionaires in the whole country & half of ’em are right here in this room.

~Charles Barkley

That quote really doesn’t have anything to do with the content of this article, aside from being about the NBA All-Star game. But Sir Charles said something that remotely applied to this piece—so I had to include it.

The NBA All-Star game brings together some of the most talented basketball players in the world every year. Yet has this talent always been recognized?

In the same manner I analyzed the NFL’s 2011 and 2012 All-Pro teams, I wanted to analyze the 2012 NBA All-Star teams. Here’s a table with all of the 2012 NBA All-Stars and how many stars they were given by Scout and Rivals coming out of high school (players that graduated high school before 2002 were not in the database, and thus not included):

Player	Scout	Rivals
Carmelo Anthony	5	5
LeBron James	5	5
Kevin Garnett	–	–
Rajon Rondo	5	5
Chris Bosh	5	5
Tyson Chandler	–	–
Luol Deng	5	5
Paul George	2	3
Jrue Holiday	5	5
Kyrie Irving	5	5
Brook Lopez	5	5
Joakim Noah	4	4
Kevin Durant	5	5
Blake Griffin	5	5
Dwight Howard	5	5
Kobe Bryant	–	–
Chris Paul	5	5
LaMarcus Aldridge	5	5
Tim Duncan	–	–
James Harden	5	5
David Lee	–	–
Tony Parker	–	–
Zach Randolph	–	–
Russell Westbrook	4	3

The answer is yes, this talent has almost always been recognized. Relative to the NFL All-Pro teams, players that made a NBA All-Star team were much more likely to have been 5-stars coming out of high school.

So—to end on a word of encouragement—to all of you 2-star basketball players coming out of high school this year: if your dream is to one day be an NBA All-Star, be diligent, work hard…

…and it still probably won’t ever happen.

————

By: Tyler Raborn

In NBA, NCAAB NBA All-Star's Recruiting, NBA All-Star's Rivals, NBA All-Star's Scout, NBA All-Star's Star Ratings, NBA All-Stars in High School

Happy Birthday Chuck!

andrewrussell23 — Wednesday, February 20, 2013 — 1 Comment

Love him, hate him, there is no denying that Charles Barkley has left a lasting legacy on the game of basketball if not the world. There is only one Charles Barkley and there will only be one. Overshadowed by his flamboyant personality is how great of a player Charles really was during his tenure in the league. Chuck ranks amongst the top 20 all-time in career points and rebounds. Did I mention that Chuck is only 6’6 and was overweight for most of his career? Flat out remarkable. Charles gets over looked sometimes because of the great players during his time like Jordan, Olajuwon, and Malone, but there is no denying Charles credentials as one of the greatest.

Then there is his personality. In a world where political correctness has become so over exaggerated that some fear every word or action they do will offend some group of people, not Chuck. There is not a more bold person in sports, or society for that matter. Chuck never shies away from speaking what is on his mind (for better or for worse) and that why I love him. For a timid person like myself, Chuck has become a role model (though he doesn’t like to be called one) of mine for his lack of care of what people think about him. Though I don’t agree with a lot of things Chuck says or does , I love Chuck for being Chuck.

So Happy 50th Birthday Chuck. And here are my top 15 Barkleyisms:

15. Chuck nearly gets posterized by Shawn “The Stormin Mormon” Bradley, but gets more embarrassed instead.

14. Chuck pokes fun at rival Alabama.

13. Don’t think Chuck is a feminist.

I’d never buy my girl a watch… she’s already got a clock over the stove.

12. It’s beyond me how Barkley didn’t win an Oscar for this one.

11. This picture says a 1,000 words about Charles.

10. Chuck has a memoir, it is not about basketball. Ill leave it at that.

9. He really just doesn’t care.

8. Painfully Truthful

After throwing a guy through a 1st floor window in a bar Charles was in front of the judge.
Judge: “Your sanctions are community service and a fine, do you have any regrets?”
Charles: “Yeah I regret we weren’t on a higher floor”

7. Chuck is running for Governor of Alabama….at some point.

6. Yep

5. What Chuck thinks about the All-Star Game.

Hell, there ain’t but 15 black millionaires in the whole country & half of ’em are right here in this room.

4. He is slightly gullible.

3. Chuck at his best.

2. Chuck’s rebounding secret.

I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques. I’ve got a technique. It’s called just go get the damn ball.

1. I’ve often wondered what goes on in Chuck’s brain and this painting is the closest thing that can be comprehended by a mere mortal, and it can be yours for $400.